A Month Ago Today ...

One month ago today, we boarded a plane in Charleston at 6am - not knowing what to expect or what the following 8 weeks would bring.  The person that I was boarding that plane a month ago - is no longer who I am.  I have learned so much over the past 30 days ... more than I ever imagined possible.  My heart has changed in ways that I could never explain with words - and our future and lives are going to impacted forever by this journey in faith.

I am so amazed at what the Lord has done in our hearts over the past 30 days ... we have grown closer to Him and closer to each other!  It's been amazing trip - and we're half way done.  We can not even talk about leaving because we know that we are leaving our hearts here.  So much has drawn us to fall in love with Honduras - and we know that we are forever changed. 

The Lord has really been speaking to me about what is important here in this life and what I need to learn to let go of and change in my heart and life.

For so long now, I thought that what I was doing was enough.  Going to church each week, teaching the 4 year old Sunday School class, hosting my small group, and being bold for Him - sharing my faith, beliefs, and love for my Savior any chance that I was given.

In my mind, that was what it was about - focused on living out loud for Him.  Not saying that isn't enough -  but the Lord has revealed to me that I really don't get it at all. 

Before coming to Honduras, I was going through each day doing the things that I thought were pleasing to Him - and in ways I know that they were because I tried my best to glorify Him in all things.  But it grieves my heart to imagine the hurt that the Lord has felt in His frustration with my simple minded way of doing things. 

There is more to this life than that - more than just existing and making it through day by day.  There is more than having my relationship with Him and telling people about Him when He opens a door. 

I want to be His hands and feet.  I want to share the love of Christ - not just His story - with people for the rest of my life.  I want to wrap my arms around the hurting, lost, dying, and sick - I want them to see Jesus in me and desire to know Him because they see what He has done in my heart.  I want to lay down my life to make an eternal difference - even if that is just for one person!

Coming to Honduras has taught me that I can not go back and continue my life at home - I can not just survive.  I want my life to be surrendered completely - 100% without holding back.  I want to be without - I want to have less so that I can give more to others.  There is nothing that this life can offer me that will satisfy my soul like what the Lord has done in Honduras in these past 4 weeks.

I don't know what this means for me - for us.  I am not sure what the Lord has in store for our future in regards to our new love.  What I do know is that the Lord handpicked us for this journey ... He chose to reveal Himself to us in ways like never before through this trip. 

Why?  We may never fully understand - but what we do know is that He is doing mighty works in our hearts that we are not worthy to experience.  Things that leave us speechless at His feet.

Thank you Jesus for walking us through these last 4 weeks.  Thank you for keeping your promise that you will never leave nor forsake us - and that you are faithful, so faithful!  We surrender to your will for our lives - whatever the cost.  Empty us and make us clean vessels for you ... so that we can heal the broken with your love and grace.